Today (Sunday October 4), the Synod of Bishops, gathered around Pope Francis, assisted by the expert advice of theologians, and inspired by the witness and personal experience of couples and individuals who minister to families, will continue the reflection it began last year, on “the pastoral care of the family in the light of the challenges of our time. 

“The Vocation and Mission of the Family in the Church and the Contemporary World.”  Where does one begin to address such a topic?  Indeed, is there even such a thing as “the family” anymore, when we look upon the great diversity of groupings of persons which are part of the “Modern Family” – as the TV sitcom of the same name implies?  In this light, it is worth listening to these words from the “working document” of the Synod, published a few months ago in preparation for the discussions:   

1. The Synod of Bishops, gathered around the Holy Father, turns its thoughts to all the families of the world, each with its joys, difficulties and hopes. In a special way, … we give thanks to the Lord for the generosity and faithfulness of so many Christian families in responding to their vocation and mission, which they fulfill with joy and faith, even when living as a family requires facing obstacles, misunderstandings and suffering. The entire Church and this Synod express to these families our appreciation, gratitude and encouragement. (…)

   During a prayer vigil held in St Peter’s Square on 4 October 2014, Pope Francis evoked, in a simple yet concrete way, the centrality of the family in everyone’s lives: "Evening falls on our assembly. It is the hour at which one returns home to meet at the same table, in the depth of affection, of the good that has been done and received, of the encounters which warm the heart and make it grow …. It is also the weightiest hour for one who finds himself face to face with his own loneliness, in the blind alleys of resignation, abandonment, and even resentment: in how many homes the wine of joy is less plentiful, and therefore, also the zest for life […]. Let us make our prayer heard for one another this evening, a prayer for all."

2. Within the family are joys and trials, deep love and relationships which, at times, can be wounded.  Despite the many signs of crisis in the institution of the family … the desire to marry and form a family remains vibrant, and serves as the basis of the Church’s mission to proclaim with profound conviction the "Gospel of the Family".  The family is uniquely important to the Church, and in these times, needs to be rediscovered as the essential agent in the work of evangelization. Think of the witness of so many families that fulfill their Christian mission!
3. With all this in mind, we have gathered together the results of our reflections and our discussions in the following three parts: listening, so as to look at the reality of the family today in all its complexities, both lights and shadows; looking, our gaze fixed on Christ to ponder, with freshness and enthusiasm, what revelation tells us about the beauty, the role and the dignity of the family; and confronting the situation: with an eye on the Lord Jesus, to discern the ways in which both Church and society can renew their commitment to the family founded upon the marriage between a man and a woman.
4. Our next step is to take the challenges of the family and consider them in light of the vocation and mission of the family in the Church and the contemporary world. The family, in addition to being called upon to respond to today's challenges, is, above all, called by God to an ever-increasing awareness of its missionary identity as a domestic Church, "going outside itself" to reach out to others. In a world often marked by loneliness and sadness, the "Gospel of the Family" is indeed good news for today’s world!

I am not sure if you should call it coincidence or serendipity – apparently with God, nothing is accidental! – that the readings suggested by the lectionary today should  address these very same topics: God’s original plan for marriage; the difficulties of marriage and family life; the importance of welcoming the child; the kind of communities we build.  Today’s Psalm gives us the quintessential image of a united, happy Jewish family: father, mother, and children, gathered around the one table, eating the fruit of the labour of their hands, conscious that they have been blessed by God. 

And wouldn’t it be wonderful if family life were always that way!  Yet we who live in this busy, complex, increasingly fragmented and isolating Western society, know of the real challenges, the concrete difficulties involved in cultivating healthy, safe, loving, united families.   Whether from our own personal experience, or that of our extended families, or in society as a whole, we know that for many, the experience of marriage and family has been far from perfect. 

In welcoming the children in the Gospel today, Jesus invites us to welcome the Kingdom of God with childlike simplicity and trust.  Yet we know that for many children – in faraway lands, but also right here in our own nation and city – family does not represent safety and unconditional love, but insecurity, neglect, abandonment by father or mother, fear, even violence and abuse in its various forms. 

Economic burdens have taken their toll on the family as well: the increased cost of housing, the lack of secure, long-term employment, a taxation system stacked against parents who prefer to live on a single income so that one parent can be dedicated to care full-time for their children in those crucial formative years of early childhood.  This makes it difficult against the desire of parents to do what is best for their children.  Then there is the cultural climate: moral ambiguity, religious relativism, a consumerist vision of personal entitlement and immediate gratification, communicated in a thousand different ways by images from TV, movies, and advertising.  All of this can seem to conspire against and undermine the generous, self-sacrificing love necessary to sustain the faithful and lifelong partnership that is marriage and family life.  

In this climate, with these very real challenges, how are we to make sense of this “hard saying” of Jesus concerning marriage and divorce?  You’ve heard the word “ouch” used a couple of times in the homilies of the past few weeks.  “Whoever divorces their spouse and marries another commits adultery against the first.”  Ouch!  We need to read today’s Gospel within the larger context of the difficulties and challenges of discipleship which is the subject of this section of Mark’s Gospel.  Last week, Jesus invited us to tie a millstone around our neck, and about cutting off your hand, your foot, plucking out your eye, if these should lead you or others into sin.  Next week, we will hear Jesus invite a rich young man to sell all that he has, give it to the poor, and come and follow him.  Jesus teaches his disciples not to look for the loophole, for the easy way out, but to give themselves completely to their commitments, trusting in the grace of God to support and strengthen them in faithfully living out their call.  

Here, Jesus applies this to the reality of marriage.  In this light, it is helpful to see this text not so much as an “absolute prohibition”, but an invitation to embrace a deeper experience and understanding of God’s primary purpose for marriage and family life. 

The Pharisees lived in a world where patriarchy reigned supreme.  Among the interpreters of the Law, opinion varied considerably about what conditions needed to be satisfied to justify a divorce: some argued that only adultery was a legitimate cause, or possibly sterility; others that a bad-tempered wife could be “put away”; some even held that burning the dinner was grounds for divorce.  But it was always men “putting their wives” away – women did not have the same prerogative in regard to their husbands, and divorce left them vulnerable, in poverty, without any means of supporting themselves, and facing the loss of their children. 

Confronted with this worldview, Jesus shifts the discussion away from “loopholes” to justify the dissolution of a marriage, and recalls God’s original plan, as expressed in today’s first reading from the book of Genesis:

That marriage is a loving, faithful, and permanent partnership between a man and a woman, rooted in a relationship of equality and complementarity, and providing a welcoming and nurturing environment for the gift of new life.  This is why we need to connect Jesus’ difficult, but life-giving teaching on marriage with the beautiful scene that immediately follows it: Jesus’ welcoming and blessing the children. 

Our society is at a crossroads in its understanding of marriage.  Whether it’s our lawmakers, our judges, or the court of public opinion – some cling to an unchanging, perennial understanding of marriage as “one man, one woman, for life, no exceptions”, while others argue an almost infinite malleability: marriage can mean pretty well anything we choose, and anyone who objects must be a bigot or a religious fanatic.   What makes things even more complex is our tendency, especially in North America, to frame the issue purely in terms of “personal rights” and “lifestyle choices”.  This neglects the reality that although society has a stake in acknowledging and supporting stable life partnerships, it has an even greater stake in providing a safe, loving and stable context for children, who in their vulnerability are often the first casualties of family breakdown.  Here in Quebec, where a significant percentage of marriages end in divorce, and where more than half of all children are born to parents not married to one another, what once was exceptional is now becoming increasingly the norm.  

All this to say that the Synod fathers and lay delegates will have their work cut out for them, and that they will be in need of our prayers and our intelligent following of the issues to be debated.  Marriage is important because it is a sacrament: it is a privileged and sacred expression of the love of God.  Marital love helps to make God’s love incarnate and real in this world.  And love generates life.  Not all of us will necessarily be gifted with a spouse and children, but all of us are called to love in a way which generates life: generously and freely.      

In the end, marriage is best promoted by example, not by condemnation.  We all struggle to do our best in the situations in which we find ourselves – whether our marriages are basically happy, or struggling; whether we are single by choice, or by circumstance; divorced or widowed, gay or straight; with or without children.  Whatever situation we find ourselves in, Jesus invites us today to welcome the Kingdom with the simplicity and spontaneity of a child.  He also reminds us that whoever welcomes the child, the stranger, the one who is marginalized by being poor or “different”, welcomes him.  In this light, I found it instructive that in his incredibly busy schedule during his pastoral visit to the U.S., Pope Francis found time to meet not just the President and the Congress and the United Nations and the Bishops, but also the homeless, the refugees, the inner-city schoolchildren of Harlem, the prisoners in a Philadelphia correctional facility. 

He greeted Kim Davis, the Kentucky county clerk imprisoned for refusing to issue marriage licences to same-sex couples; but he also welcomed Yayo Gressi, a friend and former student from Argentina, who was accompanied by his same-sex partner of 20 years.  To welcome someone is not necessarily to endorse every one of his or her moral or lifestyle choices.  It is, however, to see first not a “type”, a “category”, but a person to be loved and accepted in his or her uniqueness.  It is the kind of unconditional love that we often find hard to embrace, but which seems to come very naturally to our beloved Pope Francis.    

So as we celebrate this Eucharist, let us strive to practice this spirit of generosity and hospitality, building families, homes, neighbourhoods, a parish community in which all of God’s children have a place at the table.  

 

Let us build a house where love can dwell

And all can safely live.

A place where saints and children tell

How hearts learn to forgive.

Built of hopes and dreams and visions,

Rock of faith and vault of grace.

Here the Love of Christ shall end divisions,

All are welcome, all are welcome,

all are welcome in this place!